Chatbot

Starting point

Think about your use of adult pornography and sexual images of minors (or fantasies about minors) and using the definitions above think about whether they were (or are) compulsive or addictive.

Adult pornographyAddictive
Compulsive
Neither
Fantasies about minors / sexual images of minorsAddictive
Compulsive
Neither

If you are still not sure, here is an exercise that might help:

Please make a note of all those of the following that apply to your sexual fantasies or to your use of sexual images of minors:

  • Tolerance: needing more fantasies or images to achieve the same level of sexual excitement time after time
  • Withdrawal: feeling negative/low when you do not look at the images or when you don’t have fantasies
  • Exceeding the time limit: spending more time fantasizing or staying online longer than intended; time flies when you are online
  • Inability to control use: repeatedly saying you will stop but then returning to the behaviour
  • Efforts are made to ensure you have time alone online, hide your search history from others, etc.
  • Decreasing or stopping important activities: hobbies, time spent with family and friends
  • Continued use (having fantasies about minors or viewing images of sexual exploitation of minors) despite negative consequences: not having enough time to do other things, being tired due to staying up late online, feeling guilty or ashamed, fear of arrest

If you find yourself:

  • Meeting 2–3 of the criteria indicates a mild addiction.
  • Meeting 4–5 of the criteria indicates a moderate addiction.
  • Meeting 6–7 of the criteria indicates a severe addiction.

It’s an addiction, so it’s not my fault – right?

Wrong – the first time you looked at sexual images of minors you knew it was wrong (or illegal), you weren’t addicted then but you went back and did it again. This is because you prioritized the pleasure you got over the harm it caused others and each time you went back you could still have chosen a different path. Yes, it will have gotten harder to stop over time but you still had a choice. What’s important is that you now see this and are doing something about it.

So if you have recognized an addictive element to your offending, you need to understand more about it. Why do you think your use of the Internet became addictive? What emotions were you avoiding/covering up?

You will need to look at reasons or motivations behind your addiction. You have already started looking at motivations for your offending and triggers to your behaviour. Think about the following questions:

  1. Have I ever had other addictions such as alcohol, drugs, gambling?
  2. Do I always use quick fixes (sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling) to feel better?
  3. If I didn’t get a rewarding feeling from my online behaviour why did I repeat it?
  4. What was happening in my life at the times my addiction was at its worst? (It can help to look back to your lifeline from Section 1A -Understanding why)