We understand that some people have no sexual interest in adults. They often report an exclusive and lifelong sexual interest in pre-pubescent or pubescent children. If this is true of you, then we understand that asking you to replace a child in a fantasy with an adult may not work for you.

Rather than try and change your sexual interest, your task is to learn how best to manage your sexual thoughts, feelings and fantasies. Of course there are no easy answers but the aim is to try and reduce both the frequency of your sexual fantasies and their intensity. We hope the suggestions and advice below are helpful:

• Try to avoid sexual fantasies about children when masturbating. Of course this can be difficult, especially if you are not attracted to adults. To help, try focusing your attention exclusively on the physical sensations you experience while masturbating. Experiment with different sensations, e.g. use of lubricants.
• Reduce the amount of time spent thinking or fantasizing about children in a sexual way. The more time you spend having sexual fantasies about children, the more these thoughts will govern your mental and sexual life. So, the less time you spend thinking about children in a sexual way, the better.
• Develop a busy day-to-day lifestyle with a range of activities and interests that hold your attention. The more our minds are focused on things that we find engaging and rewarding, the less time we spend thinking about sexual things. This helps people feel more in control of their sexual thinking. And, of course, it helps people feel better about their lives more generally.
• Try and spend time with others. People tend not to daydream, or have sexual fantasies, when they are interacting with others, for example, at work or when socializing. Their minds are otherwise occupied.
• If you are aware that you use sexual fantasies as a way of coping with other things in your life, e.g. an escape from things that are worrying you or as a way to relax, find other ways of coping with these things. This will help you reduce the frequency of your sexual fantasies.
• Self-care is important too. If you feel OK about yourself, you are less likely to use sexual fantasies as a prop for your emotional health. Mindfulness (http://bemindful.co.uk/) is a technique that has been shown to improve people’s mental health and resilience.
• Do not beat yourself up. For many people, it simply does not feel realistic to never have sexual fantasies about minors or to never masturbate. That is just how it is. Mindfulness can help people come to terms with their feelings about this. Compassion and self-acceptance is a better mindset than one of despair and resignation.